THE PLACE OF FAMILY IN THAI CULTURE...

Traditionally the Thai family is a family living under the same roof several generations.
This is all the more true in the countryside, the big cities and especially in Bangkok seeing an evolution in a different and more westernized sense.

In the countryside, men work in the fields while the woman takes care of the family and manages the budget, knowing that if time permits women also take part in the work of the fields and the hardest work, especially when the children are in school or if grandparents are present to keep them.

In rural villages the often simple houses and the whole family live together, sometimes many in only 2 or 3 rooms, the majority of activities taking place outside (kitchen in particular), the house using in fact only to sleep.

The elders are extremely respected and the children have a duty to keep them with them and to assist them for the rest of their lives, which is why there is relatively little home for the elderly in the country.
Elders symbolize wisdom and children dedicated them a great respect for having them raised and giving them a job.

The children are sacred because they are the symbol of the succession and the guarantors of the care of the parents.

The birth of a child, like marriage, gives rise to a feast and celebration of birth through many religious rites.

On the mother's Day, which takes place every year on August 12th (Queen's birthday), the children bring a garland of flowers to their mother and kneel before her. She then recites a few phrases borrowing heat by putting a hand on her head, a kind of blessing to the glory of respect and family.



One thing that may also amaze is the place of what is commonly referred to as "the patch", that is, the husband or wife who returns to a family.
 
The son-in-law or stepdaughter will always go after the family and the spouse will always choose her family in the first place and whatever happens.
In case of problems in life the family will always be there to help and support.

In case of divorce it is very common for the divorced person to return to the family, there will always bed and food and all the necessary assistance.
 
For a foreign husband (this is more often the case than a woman) it is sometimes difficult to admit that parents should be financially assisted in retirement, even though the husband is sometimes older than themselves and retired.
The best for him is to admit that he has a retirement, certainly because he has contributed, and that the Thai for many have nothing.
 
It in the same when parents and children go out together (excursion, visit in the family...), it will always be the children who pay everything, it is so and no one finds nothing to complain.
On the other hand, if the children really are in trouble the parents will help to the extent of their means but it is the duty of the children to restore the situation as soon as possible.
 
An anecdote comes to mind that deserves to be underlined...
 
A friend, married to a European, lives in northern Thailand with her husband, not far from her parents.

Over the years my friend has been a little ' europeanised ' and enjoys some form of freedom by going out from time to time (rarely however) with friends from childhood to go to the restaurant and then take a tour to the local disco before returning home. The husband who does not always want to find himself between Thai who speak only Thai, usually eats with them and then comes home.

One day my friend came home about 2:00 in the morning, which was no problem, but the next day, in a discussion with the stepfather, the husband said incidentally and without a bad thought that the day before my friend had returned at 2:00 a.m. after the disco. Discreetly the stepfather told his wife and when my friend returned from the market she immediately received a pair of slaps from her mother (my friend is 39 years old...).
 
My friend knelt down and asked her mother for forgiveness...
The reason was that when you are married you do not go out without your husband and even less at night in disco.

Since when she comes out, the husband refrains from talking to his in-laws...
 
This is only an anecdote but reflects the gap between the traditional family in Thailand, with its traditions and rules, and between our western society where one does not imagine a woman of 39 years receiving a pair of slaps from her mother for this Pattern.
 
Some will offended and put forward the freedom of women.
Yes, it is a fact but here it is not lived like this, culture is what it is and even if some things or behaviors can shock, here it is not lived as a submissive, neither to the husband nor to the parents but the simple respect of a tradition and a moral.
 
 
 
 
In big cities things change.

The woman is more emancipated, works and considers herself more free.

Divorces are more common and the traditional family has made way for a more western family where the couple is working, has an easier standard of living and no longer has the time to look after seniors who are increasingly in retirement homes. In fact, retirement homes tend to multiply in large cities for this reason.
 
This is not without posing a problem which moreover is not specific to Thailand but to most of the countries of Southeast Asia which is that of the social cost of taking care of these elderly people.
As the number of elderly people believes inexorably and the number of children per couple decreases sharply, Thailand will have to do the same challenge as we do in the decades to come.
 
Should we rejoice in the evolution or admire the traditions of the countryside? Broad subject and controversial question where the role of women is often at the centre... Perhaps we can hope for a medium term between the two but it is a sweet dream, we have not been able to make this transition and I doubt that it is different in Asia.
 
The evolution of civilizations is seldom the fruit of a reflection but often the result of an unwanted situation...
 


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